When I was attending Yoga Teacher Training in Rishikesh, a fellow coursemate, who at that time was already an accomplished yoga teacher in his own right, said that in India, parents did not usually allow their daughters to marry yoga teachers. Which, of course, invoked gasps of horror & disbelief amongst us Malaysians. Like, WHY. Up till then, we (or at least, myself) always thought that yoga teachers were the cool kids who everyone wanted to sit with during recess. It has taken me almost two years to understand the reasons behind this seemingly unfounded disdain towards yoga teachers as worthy suitors. Here are my findings so far: 1. A yoga teacher is very much capable of waking you up at 3am to ask you with utter sincerity, ‘Darling, what do you think the meaning of life is?’ or ‘If everything is just a projection of our own inner minds, does that mean you’re not real & are just a figment of my imagination?’ As if that’s not bad enough, they will insist you practice yoga with them daily, at Brahmamuhurta time, no less, which is between the hours of 3.30am to 5.30am. Game of Thrones marathon? Socializing & building relations with family & friends? Ain’t got nothin’ on Brahmamuhurta time, yo! & no, coffee is Rajasic, not Sattvic, so lay off! 2. The answer to almost anything which ails you will be, ‘There is a yoga pose for that!’ They will correct your posture all the time, and even go so far as to physically adjust you while you are sleeping, because we don’t want to mess up our Kundalini flow now, do we? AND…you know those people who get irritated by the slightest things their poor unassuming partner does? Yep, you guessed it. You're sitting on the couch watching the telly or reading a book & a yoga teacher will tell you, ‘You’re breathing wrong. Stop it.’ You’ll probably have a hard time arguing with them about this one, what with those years of Pranayama studies & practices they have under their belts. Bugger. 3. Speaking about Pranayama, when you are in the middle of an argument, & you’re going off about this & that & whatnot, a yoga teacher can look you dead calm in the eyes & say, ‘Just breathe. It will pass’. Which would probably infuriate you even more, but then, ‘Impermenance, yo…don’t identify with your anger…just watch it’. However! If you attempt to apply this philosophical tactic on a yoga teacher, they will throw a crying tantrum & tell you, ‘You’re not in touch with your feelings’ or ‘How are we going to grow as a couple if you’re not willing to open up?’ Meh. You can’t win. Ever. Sorry. 4. Can you imagine the amount of white clothing??? & Shiva forbid that you mess up the laundry once…*just once*…& their sock (of course it has to be one from their favourite pair) becomes off-white! Oh, how un-yogic…the Gods of Yoga curse thee to three hours of Chaturanga practice to atone for thy sins. You got it all wrong, buddy. Run. Run as fast as you can. & don't look back. Never look back.
5. Let’s not even talk about how the whole house smells like sandalwood, the door knobs have somehow been laced with coconut oil, & you inadvertently catch yourself whistling the Hare Krishna mantra during office hours. (By the way, most of that sandalwood & coconut oil have stuck to your person, so people can now smell you from a mile away) So. Maybe Indian parents really do know what’s best for their babies. 😉 Thou hast been warned!
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In the end, all it took was some discarded chapati, kadai paneer & dal. & I just burst into tears for the next hour or so. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Returning home after teaching a night class, I intended to heat up some great food my friend had cooked. Only to search the fridge from top to bottom & finally find everything in the rubbish bin. Holy schmoly, unleash the floodgates! Looking back, it seems like such a petty thing to get upset about. But after about 15 minutes into my bawling, I realized it was a blessing in disguise. I was finally able to admit to myself that I had been suppressing some pretty strong emotions for the past few weeks. Which got me thinking: how often do we suppress our true emotions? At the workplace, you have to 'be strong', because it's a dog eat dog world out there, & one should never show weakness, lest the predators pounce. Or your job requires a lot of public relations, so you are always required to carry a cheerful & smiley personality, because nobody likes a sourpuss, so anything less than Mr/Miss Sunshine = bad for business. At home, you don't share your sadness/troubles because you don't want your family members to worry about you. So, again with the 'all-is-well' act; probably even throw in an extra hearty laugh or two into the mix just to make it even more convincing. Yes, dear friends; we are each responsible for ourselves. & any mature person would understand the need to sort out their own shit by themselves instead of throwing it on others (more about this here: aaapan-gaand-hawai-dusar-ke-kare-dawai.html). (Artist unknown) So you stand at the driveway, smile broadly & wave goodbye to your loved ones as the taxi drives off. You bring out your best jokes when you are out with colleagues. & you fake smiles for the ones you love the most, sometimes even with those who you know damn well love you in return & understand you better than yourself. Because what can others do for you? So why trouble them? Especially if you already understand that everything is impermanent & 'this too shall pass', how many more times do you want to have the same conversation about the same thing? It isn't always the case that someone is too sensitive, or even dramatic. It isn't that they are weak. You never really know what a person is going through. Maybe you just happened to be in the vicinity when that last bloody piece of straw broke the camel's back. True, meditation helps you understand that everything comes & goes. But I always say, philosophy is not a dead thing. There is no one philosophy to end all other philosophies. Life is situational. Sometimes, all you need is someone to relate to, human to human. At other times, you need some time alone to sort out your thoughts. Either way, it's a-okey. What matters is that you are true to your own needs, each time. Are you truly present, or are you numb? :P :P :P I really love this statement: It's ok to not be ok. In fact, let me take that up a notch. It's more than ok to not be ok! It means that you are still alive. It means that you have not numbed yourself to this beautiful world. What is essential is that you pick yourself up, dust yourself off & get going again. No matter how slow you do it: Just. Move. Am I going to apologize for being 'too much' for some? Never! My ability to feel things deeply is what has helped me tremendously in my journey. It is what gives birth to my writings. It is what helps me connect with my students at the soul level. Yes, we come into this world alone, & we will go alone. Yet at my times of utter despair, it was the people around me who picked me up. I am the accumulation of the small, big, random, un-random acts of kindness shown to me by others. In the movie Spirited Away, after all her trials & tribulations, Zeniba gives Chihiro a hair tie & says: It will protect you. It's made from the threads your friends wove together. You are not alone. There is always, always someone who cares & understands. Decide. Decide what you need at this moment in time - whether it is some time alone to process things, a heart to heart conversation, what? Then get back onto your path. & always remember to pay it forward whenever possible. :) :) :) |
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About Prabh LehriI am a yoga teacher based in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I am passionate about yoga as a form of healing on the physical, emotional & mental level. I have been on a yoga journey for almost a decade and have been formally sharing my experience in the last 4 years. Archives
December 2017
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