You are responsible for your own life. But isn't it comforting to know that there are people out there who are always there for you when you need it?
Everyone hits a low point every once in a while, & sometimes we need a shoulder to lean on, no matter how big, dark, silly or inconsequential the issue at hand may seem.
When we are at our most vulnerable, we need people whom we can trust, & who will accept us for who we are at that moment in time & not judge us. We need people who have the patience to let us go through the motions & gently help us figure shit out.
Yes, of course we can't expect others to always drop everything & be there for us all the time, especially if we are not committed to making any effort to step out of our own bullshit. But once in a while it is nice to have someone who cares, & is willing to give you a helping hand.
To me, there is an art to being there for someone. The term commonly used nowadays is 'holding space'. This does not only mean that the other is merely a good listener, it also means that 'whatever happens in the space, stays in the space'. See, to have the integrity to not blab to someone else about the conversation; & not use whatever was talked about nor the speaker's weaknesses against him/her in future...now that's priceless.
That's truly priceless, dear readers.
If you ever find someone who is able to hold space for you, please hold on tight to them. These people are undercover angels. ;) ;) ;)
We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage & risk.
- Thomas Moore -
I'm grateful to have people who are able to hold space for me. I'm also grateful that we can talk on & on till the wee hours of the night, laughing, crying, sharing our experiences & learning from each other, even if our life paths differ greatly. Even after not being in touch for yonks, just one call & it's like nothing ever changed.
Relationships are beautiful when both have sincere love for each other. When neither one thinks themselves higher than the other, & there is no idea of domination or control. Then everything flows naturally.
I don't know why, but each time I'm going through a difficult time, the Universe sends someone from far away to help me out. One of the most amazing things in life is when you just meet someone & it's like you've known them for years, or you just click naturally & everything just pours out from within. You just 'get' each other. You don't judge them, & they don't judge you, no matter how silly either of you may seem to others. & you know that, they will always be willing to help you out in any way they can, even if that means giving you the proverbial tight slap on the face with the hard truth.
Thanks to the Internet, I have sometimes even found strength in the most unlikely strangers halfway around the world. There have been times when I was all weepy under my covers & a short text conversation helped me regain my sanity. Sounds foolish, but in my experience, there are times when you just need to hear someone else state the things which are already in your head, so that you can completely comprehend & accept the situation at hand.
Sometimes, you just need to know that somebody cares. & although I don't know when I will meet these dear friends of mine again, & there are some whom I may never ever come face to face with; those few moments in time made all the difference in my life, & I am grateful.
Woy, Universe, send lah someone who is at least in my time zone! Why you so like this ha! :P :P :P
Of course, the quality of a relationship cannot be determined by how much time you spend together, nor how long you have known each other. But you can't deny the impact one person can have on another during the latter's moments of despair.
Two things to remember:
1. Never take people for granted. You never know what their story is. Always be kind.
2. There is always someone out there who cares. It's okey to not be okey. You just need to reach out & there will always be someone there to catch you. I promise.
I will always remember this parable Gurumukh told us:
We are all walking together on a dark path, & one person is holding a flashlight. If the person with the flashlight is walking too far ahead, the ones at the back will be left in darkness. Same thing if he is too far back. So, if he is too far ahead, he should slow down so the others can catch up, & the others need to make an effort to catch up. If he is too far back, he needs to walk faster, & the others need to slow down. We need to walk together, so that we can share the light & reach our destination together.
This mixed media piece I did last July (oh damn, has it been that long???):
'Ripple Effect. Core Connections.'
Each soul we cross paths with affects us to a certain extent, whether we like it or not, & whether we realize it or not.
The question is, how many actually touch your very centre? How many do you allow close enough to see your one, true self? & how many are sincere enough to want to know the real you?
Given these two variables, how many people have touched your centre?
We come into this world alone, & we will leave it alone. But in between, it is the heartfelt connections we create with others which makes life beautiful.
Ee Lee is a yoga teacher based in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. She is an animal lover & may just kidnap your beloved animal friends so keep them safe when she visits your home! She is passionate about philosophy & the arts, & when she is not hiding in her cave, can be found randomly baltering, inspecting unassuming everyday objects, or instigating shenanigans.