It's been almost a month since I boarded that plane to India, & since then it's been a whirlwind of a journey! For the first week I stayed with friends in Delhi & Karnal, then headed to the mountains of Dharamshala to meet up with my beloved Teacher-jis & to attend the Dancing Soul meditation course in Osho Nisarga. Upon returning, there were Teacher Training courses to attend & finally today I relived the joy of not having to wake up to an alarm clock, bahahahahah! I always say that my life is divided into two parts: before yoga & after yoga. When I attended my first 200-Hour Teacher Training with Deep in 2014, I was in a shitty relationship, could barely speak to strangers, even over the phone, & thought I would live & die working with animals because I was so not a people person! Heck, even though I loved music, I was embarrassed to dance, even alone in my own room! Since then, my boy-cut crop has grown down to my waist, I've gained 10 kilos in the past year, have met beautiful people from various parts of the world, I make friends fairly easily & can speak in front of a group of people, more importantly I can sing & dance whenever I feel like it...life has never been better! It feels narcissistic, talking about myself, but I really believe that it is important for people to share their personal experiences, not only the good ones but also the supposedly 'not too good' ones. Especially the not too good ones. Because you never know who may be going through the same things you were/are. True, yoga is all about the self, but community helps tremendously too. Sure, I fought to be the person I am today, but at the same time I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for the people who helped me up during some of my darkest days. More about this in my next blog post. What can I say about my journey so far? The more I go into it, the more idiotic I feel. At the moment it is a constant battle between holding on & letting go. What really is the purpose of life? To achieve a self-created vision of oneself? The old me would never have imagined she could become the person she is today, so how do I know that life won't take another about turn in the next few years? In just this past year especially, so many things have changed. Time & again, life shows me that I am not in control of anything, not even myself! Just as I'm beginning on one path, life snatches me up & drops me down somewhere else! Layers & layers have been shed, sometimes forcefully torn away from me, but thankfully, what is left is always more beautiful. Ambitions? Goals? What is there to do in life except to find out who I am? & by 'I', I'm not referring to the I who loves ice cream, the I who wants to change the world, the I who detests sour dough cookies; I mean the I who is beyond all that. Life is so short, so fleeting; why to create tension, why to aspire to achieve things which cannot be carried into the grave? For years & years, even before my yogic journey began, the only constant I have found within is love. No, not even God! Because to me, love is God. To me, God is not someone sitting above the clouds. He is within. He is without. He is in between. Where there is love, there is God. So for now, all I can say is that I am living love. If the Universe could bring me this far, I'm sure it will bring me wherever it is I need to be in the days to come. All I have to do is just live my truth & share love. I am grateful for this life. Every few weeks I get all soppy & teary eyed for seemingly no reason. The most weirdest-est time was when I was sitting alone on my friend's balcony in Delhi & saw a plane & two eagles flying in the same direction at the same speed & just burst into tears...LMAO..! There's so much truth within this song. The irony of life, the trials & tribulations of spirituality, that seeking for truth...it can be a tough journey. But I wouldn't have it any other way. There is much more 'breaking' to be done, but since it has been proven time & again that what comes after is always much more blissful, I accept. Anything which leads me astray from You, let it burn into ashes; even my own bullshit ideas & beliefs. Let there be nothing left within but You. Grateful for my biological parents who are crazy in their extremely differing yet similar ways, for passing down their Crazy genes to me, & for giving their unspoken blessings in my journey. For their spouses, who take such good care of my parents, so that I don't have to worry about their well-being, & I can travel freely. Grateful for my Teacher-ji, Deep; for his guidance & direction, even when I was not aware of what he was doing, even when he seemed out of the picture, bugger was still somewhere there...oh damn, there is no escape, hahahahah..! This man played a big role in moulding me into the person I am today. Finally, this trip he has given me my Sannyas name. To me, those few moments were enough of a Sannyas celebration for me, worth more than any Sannyas initiation/celebration. Grateful for my beloved cat, Karas...oh, meri jaan...some things can never be said; perhaps only you & I know the sacrifices you made for me. For my best friends who I have not spoken much to this past month...love is the connecting factor to everything & everyone. Although with some of you, our paths are different, & we don't see each other much or even rarely speak, my love for you is as strong as ever. Hell, I think one or two of you probably don't even know you are my best friends, LMAO...yep I'm undercover like that, yo! For new friendships forged...thank you for being you, & for sincerely sharing in this madness called life! Grateful for the gift of yoga. Yoga is not about the shape of your body, it is about the shape of your life. It is about going deeper into yourself, so that you can then relate to others. It is about creating awareness within yourself, so that you can live each moment in totality. It is about celebrating this madness called life! One can have a spiritual experience anywhere in the world, but somehow India always impacts me greatly. Let's see what happens during our next meeting! (By the way I did not cry upon landing & take off this trip, bahahahah!) I'm grateful for the freedom to explore her lands & mingle with her people. I must have done something right in a past life to deserve this one.
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About Prabh LehriI am a yoga teacher based in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I am passionate about yoga as a form of healing on the physical, emotional & mental level. I have been on a yoga journey for almost a decade and have been formally sharing my experience in the last 4 years. Archives
December 2017
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