Frankly, till today I still struggle to find the balance between being authentic in my individuality & living up to others' expectations of me. Sometimes there is a lot of pressure to live up to the public's idea of what a yoga teacher should be - how one should behave, how one should talk, how one should present herself...how many yoga selfies one should upload... How much should one bend over (pun intended!) to conform to the demands of the current market, to earn a decent living? When I first started teaching, I used to think that I have to show everyone that *I am someone*...'Yes, I can do this pose,' 'Yes, I know my shit,' 'Yes, I am fit/spiritual as hell & rocking it'... I used to feel so bad about myself when people did not like my classes. It was as though I was doing something wrong, or I was not good enough. I felt like I had to constantly prove myself to everyone, & I had to earn my place in the yoga community. Of course it is imminent that there will be people who judge you according to your physical capabilities, how you dress & how you present yourself. I guess at the end of the day it all boils down to synchronicity. Teacher-ji always said, 'What kind of teacher will attract that kind of student'...& it's so true! A student who comes to yoga to learn inversions will definitely not attend a Yin Yoga class - it's just basic logic. Similarly, not everyone appreciates a teacher who is too laid-back; it doesn't make either the teacher or the student wrong, it's just a matter of different approaches, different perspectives & different intentions. Over time I have come to accept that I can't make everyone happy all of the time. I can only offer what I have experienced, & what is within my heart. Just like how I can't for the life of me write something if I don't fully resonate with the topic; I cannot teach what is not my truth. When I first started teaching, my father (a University lecturer for the past 30+ years) said, 'Learning is the main focus, not teaching. Teaching can take place but if no learning takes place, then the teaching is a waste of time.' Wahlaueh, my father & Krishnamacharya so kawan baik one ha!?! Bahahahahah! Students come to class not to 'see show'...they come to learn. Regardless of what their intention is - to improve physical/mental health, stress-relief, etc...the essence is still there; the desire to learn something. & most of the time you can't teach according to your own physical capabilities & how your own mind & body functions. Yes, as a teacher of course you have to really understand yourself before you can even begin teaching. But you also have to respect & appreciate your students as individuals in their own right, so that you can teach them the right way to practice, according to their own current level of physicality & understanding. You have to be able to relate to them, so that the message gets across. Yoga is a highly personal practice. I always say that when you go clothes shopping, there are different sizes of clothes available, simply because people are of different sizes. So you don't buy a size 38 pair of pants & then eat/starve yourself until you can fit into them! Same goes with yoga, you don't fit the human into the pose, instead you need to tailor the pose according to the human! If you ask me what my idea of a yoga teacher is, I would say that a yoga teacher is not anyone higher or better than their students. Teacher-ji always said, 'Don't think of it as teaching, think of it as sharing. Just share whatever you have learnt, whatever you have discovered.' You can't teach from upon a pedestal. It's just basic human nature - people are usually willing to learn, but they are not always willing to be taught. Heck, even I experience this seemingly unreasonable stubbornness! So if a teacher enters with the idea to show that she is someone 'better' than her students, then the whole gestalt is wrong from the get-go, because the intention is not for learning/sharing to take place, & there is resistance on the part of the student towards whatever the teacher has to say. A teacher is there to serve the students. A teacher provides a service to others. & if you look deeper into it, without the students, the teacher cannot exist. So the whole focus is 'how can I be of service'. If a teacher wants to deliver the message clearly & efficiently, there cannot be any idea of ego. A teacher's life is ultimately a life of seva*. There is no 'right' & 'wrong'. Everyone is at different points of their journey, & there are many paths leading to the same destination. I am learning not to take it personally when people walk out of my class halfway through. I am learning that life is not a competition. I don't have to prove myself to the people who I am meant to cross paths with. I don't have to earn my place in the world, because I am me, & I have my own unique gifts to share with others. If they recognize this, it is okey. Even if they don't, it's still okey! :) Sometimes, something speaks. I can't say if it from within or without, nor from where it comes from. It just comes. Last month, this message came: 'Just share. Share whatever you have. Even if only one person turns up to class, whosoever it is, you teach full-heartedly, the same as you would if it was a full house. Because that one person has trusted you enough to come learn from you. That one person has the thirst for knowledge & has come to your doorstep. & always keep the Master in your heart. For he has shown you the way, he was the middleman towards your liberation. Yes, in the end even the Master has to be forgotten, but always remember his grace & love towards you. Because the Master has never asked anything in return, his goal is your realization, your enlightenment. & he had to think of how to guide you towards the right path, according to your character, according to your disposition, your tendencies; it is not an easy task, but he has done it! Is there any greater love than this? & when you remember the Master's grace & love, how can you harm another? How can you turn away those who seek? & don't fall into the trap of the ego! Realize your nothingness; that the teachings are not from you yourself. The teachings came from the Master, the Master learned from his Master, & so on...the teachings do not belong to anyone. Are you going to keep these Universal Truths all to yourself? Actually without the student, there can be no teacher. The teacher learns just as much, if not more, than the student, instead of vice versa. So share. Share without any expectations of gratitude, compensation, or even acknowledgement. Deliver the message. & if it makes a positive impact on even just ONE person, it is more than enough.' 'I am a yoga teacher...I am someone...'
Bahahahah..! I am no one, don't put me on a pedestal, don't have any high expectations of me...just let me be myself!' :P :P :P * In the Sikh tradition, there are three aspects which are fundamental towards the devotee's faith, the first of which is Seva (service or work provided without any thought of personal reward/benefit).
2 Comments
|
Details
About Prabh LehriI am a yoga teacher based in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I am passionate about yoga as a form of healing on the physical, emotional & mental level. I have been on a yoga journey for almost a decade and have been formally sharing my experience in the last 4 years. Archives
December 2017
Categories |