When I was attending Yoga Teacher Training in Rishikesh, a fellow coursemate, who at that time was already an accomplished yoga teacher in his own right, said that in India, parents did not usually allow their daughters to marry yoga teachers. Which, of course, invoked gasps of horror & disbelief amongst us Malaysians. Like, WHY. Up till then, we (or at least, myself) always thought that yoga teachers were the cool kids who everyone wanted to sit with during recess. It has taken me almost two years to understand the reasons behind this seemingly unfounded disdain towards yoga teachers as worthy suitors. Here are my findings so far: 1. A yoga teacher is very much capable of waking you up at 3am to ask you with utter sincerity, ‘Darling, what do you think the meaning of life is?’ or ‘If everything is just a projection of our own inner minds, does that mean you’re not real & are just a figment of my imagination?’ As if that’s not bad enough, they will insist you practice yoga with them daily, at Brahmamuhurta time, no less, which is between the hours of 3.30am to 5.30am. Game of Thrones marathon? Socializing & building relations with family & friends? Ain’t got nothin’ on Brahmamuhurta time, yo! & no, coffee is Rajasic, not Sattvic, so lay off! 2. The answer to almost anything which ails you will be, ‘There is a yoga pose for that!’ They will correct your posture all the time, and even go so far as to physically adjust you while you are sleeping, because we don’t want to mess up our Kundalini flow now, do we? AND…you know those people who get irritated by the slightest things their poor unassuming partner does? Yep, you guessed it. You're sitting on the couch watching the telly or reading a book & a yoga teacher will tell you, ‘You’re breathing wrong. Stop it.’ You’ll probably have a hard time arguing with them about this one, what with those years of Pranayama studies & practices they have under their belts. Bugger. 3. Speaking about Pranayama, when you are in the middle of an argument, & you’re going off about this & that & whatnot, a yoga teacher can look you dead calm in the eyes & say, ‘Just breathe. It will pass’. Which would probably infuriate you even more, but then, ‘Impermenance, yo…don’t identify with your anger…just watch it’. However! If you attempt to apply this philosophical tactic on a yoga teacher, they will throw a crying tantrum & tell you, ‘You’re not in touch with your feelings’ or ‘How are we going to grow as a couple if you’re not willing to open up?’ Meh. You can’t win. Ever. Sorry. 4. Can you imagine the amount of white clothing??? & Shiva forbid that you mess up the laundry once…*just once*…& their sock (of course it has to be one from their favourite pair) becomes off-white! Oh, how un-yogic…the Gods of Yoga curse thee to three hours of Chaturanga practice to atone for thy sins. You got it all wrong, buddy. Run. Run as fast as you can. & don't look back. Never look back.
5. Let’s not even talk about how the whole house smells like sandalwood, the door knobs have somehow been laced with coconut oil, & you inadvertently catch yourself whistling the Hare Krishna mantra during office hours. (By the way, most of that sandalwood & coconut oil have stuck to your person, so people can now smell you from a mile away) So. Maybe Indian parents really do know what’s best for their babies. 😉 Thou hast been warned!
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About Prabh LehriI am a yoga teacher based in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I am passionate about yoga as a form of healing on the physical, emotional & mental level. I have been on a yoga journey for almost a decade and have been formally sharing my experience in the last 4 years. Archives
December 2017
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