It's been more than a week since the Melting Into the Heart meditation course ended. Man oh man, what great times... Upon returning to Kuala Lumpur, I developed a mild fever & sore throat, which gradually progressed into a bad sore throat, cough & loss of voice. Dayummm son, it was the first time in my life I'd ever lost my voice! You can imagine my horror when halfway through teaching a class, my voice started failing me! & to wake up every subsequent morning after that, afraid to even 'try out' my voice, in case it hadn't come back yet...sheesh! I even had to cancel a class due to this voicelessness! Now I know that one of the most important assets a yoga teacher has to possess is not a flexible body - it is a clear voice! Doubly horrifying was the fact that it was our meditation teacher's last weekend here in KL, & he damn sempoi (happening) one you know, so I had huge intentions of kacau-ing (disturbing) him, & had many serious life questions to ask as well. But...now no voice, then how!!! Homaigot. But then I realized, having to keep silent brought with it another blessing. It forced me to really observe my surroundings, & most importantly, myself. What I really loved about our retreat is that it was focused a lot on awareness. I will go more into detail about this in my next post :) Anyways. Going voiceless made me ponder my FIPs (First Important Priorities). Let's look at it this way: if you had a limited number of words you could use a day, how would you use them? How would you choose to react to every situation which comes your way? It was like I was forced to take a step back & just completely be in the moment, sometimes even without any option of reacting. & somehow, I slipped easily into that place of not reacting. Not sure why, because I can be a drama queen sometimes, but most of the time, things just didn't seem worth reacting or responding to. Another interesting thing I have noticed is that the mind really does create a heckuva lot of shit! I can have a million & one questions, but when the teacher appears in front of me, all questions disappear. All problems fade into the distance. This is not the first time it has happened! It just seems futile asking. Maybe it is an energy transfer or something like that, but again the mind is definitely not happy every time this happens! It goes, 'Ask lah, why you don't ask! Already thinking thinking long time want to ask, why you don't ask now!' but deep inside me, I know that there is no point in doing so. 'This teacher very bad, he always make people cry!' & no, I did not cry when saying goodbye to teacher!........until approximately five minutes later. Huhuhu... This whole experience has also reinforced my belief that silence conveys more than words ever can, & that energy is all that matters. Sometimes, words spoil everything. They are necessary, but sometimes can create a barrier too. Odd words to come from a writer. Hahahahah... So yeah, it's all about the energy, baby! & if you can be in comfortable silence with another, it is a very beautiful thing. I'd forgotten about this poem I wrote few months ago. Every now & then it is an intense struggle to express myself in writing. True enough, for the past few weeks, words have left me, & no poems are coming through me.
I hope they come back soon, but in the meantime, I'm pretty content with things as they are. :)
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About Prabh LehriI am a yoga teacher based in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I am passionate about yoga as a form of healing on the physical, emotional & mental level. I have been on a yoga journey for almost a decade and have been formally sharing my experience in the last 4 years. Archives
December 2017
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