Ah, relationships! The stuff of dreams & fairy tales to some, & of nightmares & horror stories to others! True, a relationship can either be heaven or hell. But if we want to grow personally & spiritually, we need to stop looking to our partners to fulfill our needs & desires, & start looking within. Have you noticed it? When your partner does not live up to your expectations, what goes on inside you? How do you react? It doesn't necessarily have to be the big things in life - something as unassuming as them leaving their towel on the bathroom floor, or not texting to ask how your day went, or even not answering your call by the 3rd ring - what kind of reaction comes up within you? Have you ever asked yourself why these reactions are there to be triggered in the first place? Are you able to fully accept your partner as he/she is? Are you only nice to them when they meet your idea of them? Is the relationship only harmonious when they play according to your rules? Are you always demanding something from them? Are relationships merely an opportunity for us to fulfill our egos? When we enter into relationships, what happens more often than not is that we start taking the other for granted. In a way, we start assuming that they are exact replicas of ourselves; in thought, in action, in likes & dislikes. We may also start expecting more from them, sometimes unrealistically. We forget that the other is a free individual in their own right, & that their very individuality is what we loved about them in the first place! Nobody can make you happy. It is nobody's job to keep you happy. & it is nobody's obligation to be with you forever. It seems an ugly statement, but it is the truth nonetheless. But if we look at it objectively, how can the truth be ugly, unless smeared with the mud of our own thoughts & perceptions? Truth is the truth, your personal ideas of it do not change it. In reality, the other is a mirror to our own selves. & a mirror does nothing other than reflect. If you put a flower in front of it, it reflects a flower. If you put a donkey in front of it, it will never show you a kangaroo! The other is not an object to be manipulated, nor someone to be possessed. He/She is a divine mirror to yourself. Whatever your mirror shows you, be grateful, express gratitude; because everything is happening for your growth. :) A relationship can only start blossoming when both individuals are not dependent on each other, & take active responsibility for their own well-being & emotions. Relationship is beautiful because it is a mirror. But there are stupid people – they see their face in the mirror & they see it is ugly so they destroy the mirror. The logic is apparent: this mirror is making them ugly, so destroy the mirror & then they are beautiful. Relationship is a mirror. Wherever you are related with a person – a wife, a husband, a friend, a lover, an enemy – a mirror is there. The wife mirrors the husband. You can see yourself there. & if you see an ugly husband, don’t try to leave your wife – the ugliness is in you. Drop that ugliness. The mirror is beautiful; be thankful to this mirror. But stupid & cowardly people always escape & renounce; brave & wise people always live in relationship & use it as a mirror. Living with someone is a constant mirroring around you. Every moment the other reveals you, exposes you. The closer the relationship, the clearer is the mirror; the more distant the relationship, the less clear is the mirror. - Osho -
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About Prabh LehriI am a yoga teacher based in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. I am passionate about yoga as a form of healing on the physical, emotional & mental level. I have been on a yoga journey for almost a decade and have been formally sharing my experience in the last 4 years. Archives
December 2017
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